Parenting Squad

From Old Wives' Tale to Proven Science: Could Morning Sickness Mean It's a Girl?

Sherry Pardy — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 08:44:08 -0400

Old wives' tales abound when it comes to pregnancy. If you're carrying like this than you're having a boy. Heartburn sufferers' babies have massive amounts of hair. Insatiable hunger indicates twins or multiples. Most of these myths and legends have remained just that, until now.

Although long regarded as one of those stories people tell, morning sickness may prove more than just a frustrating and embarassing reality of pregnancy. In severe cases, it may confirm with an overwhelming accuracy, that a woman will deliver a girl, and now there's scientific proof to back that claim.

According to a recent article in the New York Times, an overwhelming number of studies conducted worldwide came to much the same conclusion, that women who suffer in their first trimester from a condition hyperemesis gravidarum, characterized by morning sickness symptoms so debilitating it requires hospitalization, are upwards of 80% more likely to deliver a girl rather than a boy.

The reasons behind this phenomenon aren't well known, however it is speculated that hormones unique to female fetuses cause the spike in nausea and illness.

Permalink | Comments | Sherry Pardy's blog | Channel: Pregnancy, Birth

Similar entries:

Ten Ways to Work Exercise Into Life With Kids

Carrie Kirby — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 15:56:28 -0400

By Carrie Kirby

Working parents sometimes have an easier time fitting in a workout. There is always the lunch hour if there is a gym or basketball court near your office, and if not there is always getting there and back: Ride a bike to work, take the stairs, and you have a minimal exercise routine taken care of.

But there are ways to work exercise into a stay-at-home parent's day, too. Even if you're not trying to lose weight (although I know few parents who aren't) you'll feel better if you squeeze in a little active movement.

These suggestions are for parents with little kids. When they're older, of course, you can get involved in sports with them. If they let you.

1. Chase. Lots of moms joke that they'll lose the baby weight chasing after a toddler, but then it never happens. Well, do more chasing. Actually initiate running games with little ones and challenge yourself to keep it up until THEY'RE tired. Which can be quite a long time. And when they get tired of chase, there's always playing ball, you pushing them on the swing or merry-go-round, and if your kids are old enough, riding bikes together.

2. Hit the pool. I have found that I am just as tired after 45 minutes in the pool with a baby as I would have been if I swam laps. OK, the activity may not be as constant and as effective, but it's something. Move the baby around the pool, lift the baby up and down, just don't put the baby in a float boat and stand there.

3. Stroll the errands. If you live in a walkable neighborhood (and why wouldn't you?), take the stroller instead of the car anytime you can. It's ok to make several small trips to the grocery store instead of one big trip with the car -- in fact, shorter trips will probably mean less disatisfaction on your child's part, too.

Choose your stroller carefully, and don't be afraid to invest in another if you realize your basket is too small for shopping or the thing is too wide to get in store entries. Now that I have a preschooler and a toddler, I use a sit-and-stand stroller, and although it doesn't have much basket space, we hang grocery bags off the sides of it.

When I was concerned I was gaining too much weight while pregnant, my midwife suggested I pick up the pace with the stroller for at least 10 minutes a day, as in, walking so quickly I was out of breath. At the time, I pooh poohed her suggestion -- YOU find the energy to powerwalk while pushing a 25-pound toddler and carrying an extra 25 pounds around your middle. But now that I JUST finished losing some of that baby weight 18 months later, I wish I'd taken heed.

4. Stroll the fun, too. If your activity choices for the day are going to the zoo, a large children's museum or watching a movie, I think you know which ones will burn more calories. Also, your kids will be tireder and hopefully take a nice nap after.

5. Ride a bike. In the same vein as No. 3, if you invest in a baby seat or kid trailer you can bike a lot of your errands.

6. Pick up the pace of housework. Light housework burns 75 to 125 calories an hour. If you challenge yourself to move 50% faster, you'll get more done and get more cardio too.

7. Investigate gyms with childcare. You'd be surprised at how mentally refreshing an hour away from the kids can be, even if you spend it on the treadmill.

8. Join a stroller group, parent/baby bootcamp, or whatever it takes. OK, I'm too cheap and really not a joiner, but lots of people are motivated by joining a group. And if you join the right class, you can learn how to safely use your baby as a freeweight for arm lifts, leg lifts, sit ups, etc. At least until your baby is old enough to give you a withering look and crawl away.

9. Dance! My kids love it when I remember to turn on some favorite music and dance with them for a few songs every afternoon. It really breaks up the doldrums and it leaves me at least a little winded.

10. Trade your TV time for nookie. In case you need a push to engage in that all-important spousal bonding after the kids are in bed, remember that while doing "it" or watching TV might seem equally relaxing, only one of those recreational activities burns calories. Also, it's less tempting to stuff your face with Nutter Butters while doing "it."

Permalink | Comments | Carrie Kirby's blog | Channel: Wellness

Similar entries:

Pregnancy Uglies #2: Hair Dye, Color and Highlighting - I Don’t Want My Roots To Deform My Family Tree

Katherine Turner — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 19:07:11 -0400

By Katherine Turner

When the clothes start getting bigger, the underwear less appealing, and the shoes more functional, you would like to at least find some solace in your crowning glory; but if you’re like more than half of us, you’re crown isn’t so glorious without a little help from your chemical friends. Chances are, you’re not really that blonde, or the sun didn’t just happen to hit those perfect strands that frame your face, or your tongue stud loses its edge when your cherry-red bob turns mousy beige-brown. Something tells you, however, that the fumes which nearly knock you off your feet at the salon or when you’re bent over the sink at home are not exactly aromatherapy for you or your baby – and you’re right. So, are you just to face your mirror to the wall and plan on arriving at delivery with six inches of outgrowth? If martyrdom is your thang, go ahead, but there’s no medal for it.

First off, there have been no conclusive studies attesting to the toxicity of conventional hair dye on a fetus (or on you, for that matter, although many believe a connection is to be found between high levels of PPD – the chemical that makes color permanent - and non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma); if this is enough to set your mind at ease, by all means rock on with your Clairol or L’oreal, but allow for as much ventilation as you can fan in and out! Anything that causes you to lose your breath or that makes the lining of your throat tingle (other than a peppermint) is not doing your fetus any favors. Also, be aware that the chemicals in mainstream hair dye are absorbed through the scalp and can be detected in urine, which proves that benign or otherwise they have access to your body systems. The really good news is that most have a hair type or color that can still be achieved by stepping down the chemical exposure a bit. A few don’t and may have to change their game plan for a few months.

FIRST, A NOTE TO DEVOTEES OF THE ELLE WOODS BLONDEST BLONDE

If your ideal color happens to be more than two shades lighter than what your maker gave you and you refuse to compromise a full head of perfect Barbie goodness, the hard stuff may be your only option. There are no all-natural or mostly-non-toxic preparations that can lift color more than two levels unless you’re one of the people I’ve never met who can actually get a noticeable lightening from lemon juice, chamomile tea and sunlight. If you are, I suspect you already fall in the Nordic tilt of the blonde spectrum anyway. The good news is that even the most cautious doctors will advise that you avoid bleaching only for the first trimester while the fetus is doing the bulk of its neurological growth.

Fortunately for you, the most socially acceptable root-showing look is dark outgrowth on blonde – it’s practically iconic! Three months of roots translates to about an inch and a half, which really isn’t that strange looking. If you can wrap your head around this (that was almost a pun) as a deliberate style and embrace your inner Brigitte Bardot or Edie Sedgewick, I say muss up your part a bit, go a little heavier on the eyeliner and go all sultry. Experiment with wide headbands and low ponytails that require no part at all. The other option is to jump ship to the more attainable, natural-looking…

CARAMELLY STREAKY BLONDE (actually, this method is for anyone, blonde through brunette, who typically colors their hair more than two shades lighter than their natural roots)

This is a blonde with more depth, thanks to adding some very light brown lowlights that blend the root color in with the goldilocks. And, since you’ll be essentially eliminating a line of demarcation at your part, you can go several weeks and thus wait out the first trimester before deciding to just touch up the lighter areas or to go back to your former self. Choosing from one of the semi-permanent brands listed below, buy a shade one level lighter than your roots and a shade in between that and your lightest pieces. If you plan to do this yourself (I kind of don’t advise this – there are too many ways you can mess this up!), buy one of those dorky highlighter caps that you hook your chosen strands through so you come out relatively even. Err on the conservative side – you can always add more dark pieces later, but you can’t really lighten what you’ve already colored. Mix the two shades separately, and in a third bowl, combine some of each so you have three tones to work with. Concentrate more of the darkest shade on the top strands that are nearest to your visible part and root line, and go progressively lighter toward the pieces at the bottom. Don’t do any of this too precisely, though, or it’ll look really fake.

GOING LIGHT TO DARK OR LIGHT TO RED

Well aren’t you lucky? You have the easiest way to go - just choose from one of the semi-permanent brands below in one shade lighter than you anticipate your hair turning out and presto!

ARE YOU, UM, SKUNKY?

Prematurely gray and pregnant – a fun combo! I started going gray in high school and began coloring at 22; judging by the white stripe that emerges every few weeks, I have maybe seven dark hairs left. Semi-permanent won’t cover the gray (I don’t consider light rust or pink “natural-looking highlights”) but conventional permanent dye is downright toxic. I tried lots of things to get through the first trimester (see next section), and finally found and fell in love with Herbavita’s Herbatint line. It contains a very low amount of PPD, no other harsh chemicals, is fumeless and leaves hair lustrous. Jane Leeves (Daphne from “Frasier”) is another prematurely gray girl who turned to Herbatint when she was pregnant, and her hair is gorgeous! Pick one shade lighter than you anticipate it turning out.

NOW, EVERYBODY – WHAT NOT TO DO

Okay, so there are some great-on-paper-horrific-in-practice ways to go about maintaining our chosen hue without conventional permanent dye:

Highlighter mascaras If you have visions of being able to simply paint on your sunshine, you will be dismayed by the reality of clumped metallic stripes. And, unless you have a short, tufty do that you already use a lot of product in, like wax, this stuff will make your hair all gummy and if you mistakenly run your fingers through it (or your husband tries to) you’ll end up with gunk all over your nails. Leave this kind of silliness to the 12 year olds along with the Dr. Pepper Bonne Bell lip-gloss.

Color-depositing shampoo This is only an alternative for those looking to temporarily counteract some slight oxidation (brassiness) on their ends. Expecting anything more transforming than that is a recipe for disappointment. Just like with the mascara, you can expect to ruin your manicure and this has the added bonus of killing your towels.

Colormark touch-up So many women with white roots swear by this little wand of brush-on, leave-in quick-fix in between coloring sessions – especially for those really resistant grays at the temples – so I must be cosmetically-challenged, because every time I tried to get the little pesky ones at my forehead, I ended up tattooing myself and looking like Eddie Munster. Plus, when I’d use it on my part, it would again leech onto my skin and make it look like I as wearing a wig because there was no visible scalp.

Touch-up crayons If you can’t already visualize the mess this must make, let me help: remember those never-worked-on-paper-but-stained-your-hands colored pencils that you were supposed to wet and then transform your drawings into watercolor paintings? Well think of just how much more of a sludgy, colors- everything-but-what-you’re-actually-meaning-to mess that would be if instead of pencils, you were using something the consistency of an oil pastel. Unwieldy, gloppy, ugly and sad.

Spray-on temporary color Best left for the Halloween party, it’s very fake-looking, turns your hair into the texture of cotton candy, renders your head untouchable – seriously, it will get all over your hands, once you figure out how to dislodge them from your confectionary helmet – and runs down your face if you sweat (if you’re pregnant, this is likely an issue), get caught in the rain or get sunscreen too close to your hairline. Really, the stuff is only ideal for an Elsa Lancaster “Bride of Frankenstein” moment.

THE BEST SEMI-PERMANENT OPTIONS

Herbavita Vegetal Hair Color

Cassia Natural Semi-Permanent Color

Surya Henna Cream Semi-Permanent Color(this one contains NO TOXIC anything – not even PPD; but finding the right shade combo is tricky – I had to mix Chocolate with Light Brown to get a medium brown that didn’t glow magenta in the sunlight)

THE BEST PERMANENT OPTIONS

Herbavita Herbatint hair color

Naturtint Permanent Hair Color

Tints of Nature hair color

Permalink | 1 comment | Katherine Turner's blog | Channel: Pregnancy

Similar entries:

Are Cheap Diapers Worth the Savings?

Linsey Knerl — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 22:37:21 -0400

By Linsey Knerl

I've had over four years of diapering experiences to reflect upon (and am looking at at least another year or two.) I have been blessed in that many of the changings have occurred simultaneously, as my kids are close together, and diapering is a family affair. You'd think that I'd welcome the chance to save a buck or two on a pack of diapers. (I did, as a matter of fact, use cheapo $1 pregnancy tests to learn of each of my children's creation.) But when it comes to the containment of bodily fluids, there is no substitution for quality.

Huggies and Pampers top the list of more expensive and highly-advertised diapers. I concluded early on that by paying more for these brands, I was paying for expensive advertising budgets, promotions, and character branding. I scoffed at their worth, and stocked up on all the store-brand sizes I could fit into my closet.

With my first child (a girl) this was OK for a time. She was formula fed, rarely had a containment breach, and was changed 10-14 times a day (I had a lot of time on my hands.) With my first son, born 5 years later, it was a different story. Mr. Breastfed had those icky, squirty kind of bowel movements that made their way up the back of the pants, into the shirt, and all over the car seat. If this wasn't bad enough, he pooped every time he ate, necessitating frequent changings of the #2 kind. Couple that with the fact that he was a boy -- This meant that his “equipment” often shifted during the night, causing pee to escape at strange angles from his cheap diapers. We were through with that strategy.

By the time boy #2 came along, we were getting the hang of things. We upgraded to the middle-class Luvs. They were branded (which meant processional coupons) and seemed to have all the offerings of their pricier counterparts. We tried them for a while, but the changings seemed to be more frequent, as the diapers drooped almost immediately after putting them on. We went back to the big brands again soon after.

We have now entered a new era of diapering with my third son. In an effort to go “green”, I thought about cloth (for about 5 minutes.) I couldn't forget that with 4 kids, a homeschool schedule, and a busy freelance business, I could barely keep up on regular laundry, and the thought of letting poopy dipes sit for any length of time (especially the time it took me to wash clothes) was unacceptable. We tried a few semi-disposable options, including the gDiaper. We finally settled on a preference for Seventh Generation (they work very well) and Huggies (which are available at my local grocery.)

What does this all mean for you? It means that as much as we all would like to save a penny, I would also like to save my couch and car seats. Is cheap diapering for everyone? Of course not. If it works for you, GREAT! Just don't feel like a schmuck if you cave in to brand-name reliance. Sometimes it is not about the Benjamins – sometimes it's about the poop. Seriously. (But if you are still driven to save the most on diapers, consider checking out the very cool BabyCheapskate.com. They are a lifesaver.)

Permalink | 3 comments | Linsey Knerl's blog | Channel: Home Life, Finances, Shopping

Similar entries:

Parenthood is Its Own Reward – Or is it?

Linsey Knerl — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 18:05:24 -0400

By Linsey Knerl

Finding what motivates isn’t always easy. But once you do, great things can be accomplished!

A change of heart. We have been struggling with several issues in our house. A reluctant potty trainer, a messy kindergartner, and a lazy preteen plague my productive side and keep me pulling hair out when I should be getting things done. I had turned away from traditional methods of behavior modification (rewards and charts) for fear that it was teaching my kids to only act out of self-interest. But let’s face it… any kid that’s willing to sit in their own crap all day long isn’t thinking much about anyone, including their own needs.

Find your chart. Desperate for change, I turned to the internet for some free downloadable reward charts. There were hundreds: some colorful, some simple, a few with favorite characters, and a couple of bizarre ones from distant lands. The choices were many, and I was ready to get started.

Pick your goals. Since it is too much for a kid to work on too many habits at once, pick the top two and run with it. (We went with potty training and naps – which were eating into my time and my laundry.) You can also choose to have a chart with two habits or two charts with an emphasis on each. Place the chart in the room where the behavior will take place. We have a chart in the bathroom and one in the bedroom. The kids know exactly where to go to see their progress, and it reminds them of their goals throughout the day.

Get feedback on rewards. You may think you know your child well-enough to pick out the perfect reward. But just to be sure, ask them for their input. I was shocked when each and every reward my kids asked for were related to food (sweets, actually.) After a week of good nap behavior they will now get ice cream. After a poop on the potty – a sucker or other candy. See a pattern here? (It’s cheaper than a pony!)

As with anything, reward charts will lose their flair, and habits will soon be performed without thought. Once they master something, be sure to continue praising them verbally, and if they find themselves stuck on a new skill, bust out a new chart. For a full selection of free printable charts, check out these nifty ones from SuperNanny.com (they even have one for moms!)

Permalink | Comments | Linsey Knerl's blog | Channel: Chores, Discipline, Home Life, Learning Tools

Similar entries:

Date Night In

Sherry Pardy — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 21:23:07 -0400

By Sherry Pardy

Before my twins arrived, my husband and I never gave a thought to how we'd cultivate our marriage and relationship post-partum. There were more seemingly pressing issues, like nursing two babies at once, how we'd ever afford enough diapers and sleep? anyone? sleep?

After the zombie-like state wore off, some where around 3 months which directly coincided with my children sleeping through the night, we found ourselves with more and more time together after putting the babes to bed. Immediately, the idea of a date night came to mind, but since neither of us has family close by, and we weren't quite ready to seek out a babysitter, we invented Date Night In.

Every Friday night, Max and Sara drifted off sometime around 7pm which left a good 8 to 10 hours of kid-free time. In the spirit of full disclosure, some Date Nights, we slept. Occasionally, we'd find ourselves in bed, *ahem* reconnecting. Most evenings, though, we'd throw a call to our local Chinese restaurant, order take out, rent a movie, flop onto the couch and enjoy each others' company. Recently, we've added some new activities to the Date In repertoire, including a Nintendo Wii.

Even now, after celebrating our third year of surviving twins, we still take one evening each week to celebrate us, as parents, as human beings, but mostly, as a married couple. And we never have to leave our house.

Permalink | 1 comment | Sherry Pardy's blog | Channel: No Children Zone, Sex & Relationships, Work Balance

Similar entries:

The Five Best Things I Did For My Kids This Summer

Caitlin Giles — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 15:00:01 -0400

By Caitlin Giles

(1) Schedule? What Schedule? During the school year I try to maintain some semblance of a kid-friendly schedule --especially in the evenings with our dinner, bath, and bedtime routine. But that boring routine leaves no time for catching fireflies and eating s'mores. So we abandoned our schedule about mid-June. Now, we nap whenever we are done playing. We stay up until 9:30 p.m. or so, running around the backyard until we collapse. Dinner is ready -- well, whenever I manage to get it ready. And we sleep in until 8:00 a.m. or so. Why not? We don't have to be any place at any particular time.

I know that school days will mean the return of "appropriate" bedtimes and mealtimes. Fine. But for the next few weeks, we are going to be stargazing and playing t-ball in our yard until we have all had our fill.

(2) Swimming. Swimming. Swimming. We swam in Lake Michigan. We swam in Lake Geneva. We swam in public city pools. We swam at swanky, private country club pools. We swam at Grandma's house. We swam in the baby pool in our backyard. We swam at water parks.

Our bathing suits are faded and saggy in the bum. Hardly a day went by when we weren't getting wet somewhere. My four-year-old is officially a swimmer (no vest, floaties, or baby pools for her, thank you very much). She looks a little bit like a drowning dog while she is at it, but she is swimming on her own. My two-year-old son has eschewed his cautious approach to the water in favor of totally kamikaze, reckless jumping into the pool (please see photo for a visual).

They both have made tons of progress in the water and we all have had so much fun.

(3) Grow, Garden, Grow. We grew a garden -- a great garden. We planted tomatoes, peppers, swiss chard, zucchini, carrots, and herbs. My little ones helped to sew the seeds, pull the weeds, and water our fledgling plants. Now, as the plants actually bear fruit, my kiddos happily rush out to see what is ready for harvesting.

This simple family activity has brought us hours and hours of summertime bliss. My children feel real pride and ownership in having helped to grow our own food. I am already planning our (much, much bigger) garden for next year.

(4) Dirty Hands. Dirty Feet, Dirty Faces. My kids are filthy at the end of the day. Disgusting, Stinky. My bathtub has a ring of dirt around it every night after my two monkeys have washed. There is no nail brush strong enough to remove the soil, gunk, sand, and God knows what else from underneath their fingernails.

I view each muddy footprint and sand-filled pair of shorts as signs of a truly fun summer day. We can celebrate the virtues of cleanliness when the snow and cold keep us barricaded indoors in a few short months.

(5) Summer Food. With our weekly visits to the farmer's market and our CSA boxes full of goodies, we have been filling our tummies with with best that summer has to offer. First we gorged ourselves on strawberries, then raspberries, and now blueberries and peaches. We are downing squashes, peppers, corn and home-grown lettuce on an almost daily basis.

We have all been eating food that we can feel good about. Real food. Food that comes from a farm. It taste so good. And it feels so good.

Your turn now. Tell us about your happiest summer moments with your little ones.

Permalink | 6 comments | Caitlin Giles's blog | Channel: Home Life, Entertainment, Social Skills, Etiquette, Learning Tools, Nutrition, Extra Curricular

Similar entries:

Adoption: What To Do After The Home Study Approval

Lori Kerrigan — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 13:57:45 -0400

By Lori Kerrigan

We’re Expecting! Kind of….. so, I did not pee on a stick and look down to two happy pink lines, but…I did spend months working to prove to Douglas County that my husband and I are qualified to raise a child. And this morning, in lieu of the word “pregnancy” popping up on those cool digital pregnancy sticks, we received a call. A call that will no doubt change our lives forever, we have been approved! Approved to adopt children. We have spent the last two years trying to get ovulation kits, IUI’s, IVF and now the county to work for us, in the form of building a bridge to the land of parenthood. About six weeks ago, we decided to stop fighting the path of having our own biological children, and decided to bring a wonderful little bundle of joy into our world through our hearts, instead of through biology. We are FINALLY going to be parents!

So, what does one do, once the home study is final, when you can finally get excited about just waiting for a baby, when you have to prepare for a baby financially, emotionally and physically, but also a baby that is coming to you in a different kind of way (which comes with its own mix of emotions and elements)?

1. Start applying for grants for the very expensive adoption bills that are coming your way! I say to do this first because the organizations that are doing the “granting” require many documents to be submitted with the very lengthy grant application. Some of the documents that are required are

            a. Church street address, phone number, e-mail and Web addresses (if you are going through a religious organization).
                b. IRS tax information for 2007 and 2006 (We ask to send copies of each year's W2s and tax returns).
                c. Net worth of investments (retirement, market securities, and real estate).
                d. Adoption agency’s street address and telephone number.
                e. Adoption worker’s business phone and e-mail address.
                f. Your home study

You can also find a list of “granting” organizations at: www.angelfire.com

2. Start talking to other families that have adopted to ease some of the emotions and fears surging through your brain and your heart. For my husband and I, this has been mostly focused on bonding, from our perspective and our child’s perspective. I have found that adoption remains close to an adoptive family’s heart, regardless of how long ago the adoption took place, or how busy their life is now due to a full family! Most people have been happy to share, and have done so very genuinely. I have asked very honest questions that have to do with how a new adoptive parent bonds with their new bundle of joy, how it differs from bonding with biological children (if that was the case for that family), fears, mistakes, successes and emotions. What I have found, is that all adoptive parents, as well as parents of biological children say the same thing, “regardless of how a child is brought to our home, that child is a stranger to us, it takes time to bond” or “don’t think you are not bonding instantly with your child because you are adopting, bonding instantly is not always true, it takes time” and “ I forget that our child is adopted, it’s so weird when people ask me about it sometimes”. For someone worried about “missing out” because of not being pregnant, or not bonding with a child, these honest talks have eased a lot of my worries, and also, made me feel more normal, a little less crazy, apparently, all moms-to-be have many stressful days!

Also – start talking to parents to start preparing yourself for being a parent. Regardless of how you become a parent, there is A LOT to prepare for when it comes to a new child being in your home!

3. Set up a meeting with a pediatrician. This is so you have someone to call if you have medical questions about a child that you may be matched with and also so that your pediatrician can be present at the hospital when the baby is born to do an exam. Another exciting thing about contacting a pediatrician is that if you are matched with a birth mother, at least a few months before the baby is born, the pediatrician can help you with hormones to induce milk, and allow for you to breastfeed your baby!

4. Start celebrating! You are finally “pregnant”! After months and most likely years of trying to conceive, the ups and the downs, the hopeful moments, and the devastating days, you are finally waiting on a baby to arrive in your home! A baby that was created just for YOU, a baby that will be coming to YOUR home, and in YOUR arms! Let your friends plan a baby shower, start registering, gather ideas for a nursery, read up on books to help you prepare for your new arrival (I am picking up, “What To Expect the First Year”, today!), buy a few gender neutral baby items, start wearing a shirt that says “I Might Not Be Showing, But I Am Glowing”, celebrate with your spouse, and get lots of sleep, because soon, a new little miracle will be in your home, and sleep will not be an option!

Permalink | 2 comments | Lori Kerrigan's blog | Channel: Planning, Conceiving, Pregnancy, Birth, Adoption, New Parents

Similar entries:

The Death of the Neighborhood

Corina Fiore — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 17:31:58 -0400

By Corina Fiore

I miss the olden days. You know, the olden days like 20 years ago. Life seemed different then. You belonged to a community, a neighborhood. There was no such thing as "play dates". Kids went outside and played. You did not have to drive cross town to visit with a friend. People looked out for each other and for each others kids. People supported each other, rather than criticizing each other. The people in your neighborhood were part of your extended family. At some point in the last 20 years, the neighborhood has succumbed to death.

What killed the neighborhood?

Is it the fact that more mothers are working now than they were then and therefore there are less eyes on the streets?

Is it the fact that there are more "crazies" out there (or the fact that now we know about them), so that we fear letting our children play like we did growing up?

Is it the fact that we have over scheduled our kids and ourselves, so there is no time to belong to a community?

Is it the internet? Does it give us enough sense of community, without actually having to come face to face with anyone?

Is it the fear of being criticized? Of not being the perfect mom, or the cool enough dad?

Is it because, in effect, we have no idea what our mothers (or fathers) did with their time, therefore we do not know how they created that community? All we know is that we left in the morning, came home by dinner, and knew that if we messed up, somehow our parents would know about it.

Is it suburban sprawl and the fact that our neighborhoods have become much less "walkable"?

Mind you, most (not all) of these developments over the past 20 years are good things. It is good that mothers are given more opportunities. It is wonderful that we know more about those around us to keep our children safe. In addition, I know that I for one could not imagine a life without the internet. But in reality, all of these things did in fact play a part in the death of the neighborhood.

Furthermore, what, if anything, can be done about it? Can we rebuild what has been lost: a sense of community, a sense of pride, a sense of extended family?

I pose you these questions.

Permalink | 6 comments | Corina Fiore's blog | Channel: Safety, Home Life, Entertainment, Relocation, Social Skills, Learning Tools, Culture, Relationships

Similar entries:

How to Deal With Mommy Guilt

Karen Putz — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 16:14:19 -0400

By Karen Putz

I had just arrived home from four days in Colorado. It was one o'clock in the morning and I realized that I had to do a few things to prepare for a meeting the next day. My mind was spinning with the massive to-do list in my head. The hubby was chatting away, trying to tell me about his trip to Ohio that same weekend. We hadn't seen each other for several days.

With a jolt, I realized that I wasn't paying attention. I recognized that old, familiar feeling that was creeping inside of me:

I felt guilty.

Substitute any old thing and Mr. Guilt pays a visit.

Are you having a day where dishes are piled high, the toilets need to be wisked, the laundry folded and put away? The kids spilled juice two days ago on a corner rug and you just haven't gotten around to washing it? Mr. Guilt comes knocking at the door.

Have you been feeding your kids junk food for several days in a row? Or worse yet, your four-year-old wants macaroni and cheese for the seventh day--and you serve it? Mr. Guilt nags at you to shape up and get some broccoli in those kids.

Does your toddler still have a binky in his mouth and your mother-in-law wants to know when he's going to stop? What kind of parent are you, Mr. Guilt wants to know.

And what about that glass of wine you drank when you were a few months pregnant? Guilt, guilt, guilt.

Fortunately, there's a book out there that deals with guilt. It should be on the shelf of every mom. It is called Mommy Guilt, and the authors are Devra Renner, Julie Bort, and Aviva Pflock.

Stop stressing and start enjoying your children, they say!

The very best part is their seven steps to managing guilt and enjoying parenthood:

1. You must be willing to let some things go.

2. Parenting is not a competitive sport.

3. Look toward the future and at the big picture. Don't become overly hung up on the here and now.

4. Learn when and how to live in the moment.

5. Get used to saying yes more often and being able to defend your no.

6. Laugh a lot, especially with your children.

7. Make sure you set aside specific time to have fun as a family.

As I read through this list, I realized that I learned these steps long ago. I also remember the time when I learned to manage guilt in my life-- it was when I was pregnant with my third child.

It was a revelation that came from making the decision to have my child at home. Once I made that decision, I stopped conforming to "the norm." I started blazing my own paths in parenting my kids. I noticed that I no longer had those creeping feelings of guilt popping up. I enjoyed parenting my kids and learned to love the journey that we were all on together.

After all, like the authors say, we moms need to "fend off the guilt and focus on what really matters."

Permalink | 5 comments | Karen Putz's blog | Channel: New Parents

Similar entries: